| Amber |
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| Below is one of Amber's essays for her Chicago application. We present the essay in its original form, with just cosmetic changes made to protect the author's identity. We then provide comments and suggestions, based on the advice available in Your MBA Game Plan. |
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| The question that he answers in this essay is: |
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| Why are you seeking an M.B.A.? What are your plans and goals after you receive your degree? (500 words) |
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I have worked in a variety of different roles in the investment industry from ones quantitatively-focused to those that dealt with marketing. My work history is marked by excellence and a steady expansion of responsibility and range of expertise. The skills I will gain from a formal MBA program will complement my existing skills, allowing me to achieve my long-term personal and professional goals.
At my first job out of college, OPSEU Pension Trust, I was asked by my supervisor to head a project managing seven interns. The project involved incorporating new legal requirements into the company’s internal pension system within a three-month deadline. I enjoyed the challenge of completing the task on time and leading the team. However, I had to learn the dynamics of managing a team and ways to keep them motivated on the fly. Through self-assessment it was apparent to me that I could benefit from the formal study of management skills, but I decided to wait and gain more professional experience so I could truly benefit from and contribute more to an MBA program.
As part my current role as an Investment Marketing Analyst, I perform extensive analysis on a wide range of domestic and international mutual funds of varying levels of risk. I analyze these funds to ensure that my company's own Manulife USA 401(k) product is the best available (I have successfully recommended funds that have performed exceedingly better others in their categories). It has been particularly exciting analyzing small capitalization international funds and discovering why particular funds succeed. This experience has intensified my desire to work more directly in investment management.
Now, five years after first deciding to eventually study for an MBA, I know this is the right time. As a CFA charter holder, I have advanced analytical finance skills. An MBA will be the link between this specialized knowledge and the international business and general management skills needed for my long-term career as a portfolio manager on the global stage. As a portfolio manager, I would have to manage research analysts, make critical investment decisions, and understand international finance. My focus as a portfolio manager will be in emerging economies. The geo-political and cultural implications of investing in these markets fairly demand an International MBA from Chicago GSB. As a person who has lived, worked, and traveled to numerous countries around the world, from the poorest to the richest, I see the world as an integrated arena and have always intended to work to bring attention to the growing securities markets in African countries, which have untapped valuable investment alternatives. My short-term career goals would be to get a position as a research analyst at a leading investment management company, in hopes of eventually managing my own portfolio.
Although I have specific career goals, I am aware that at Chicago GSB I would have the opportunity to explore different options, and I fully intend to take advantage of all the opportunities I am exposed to. |
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| Comments |
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Amber's essay would benefit from additional discussion of why she is seeking an MBA. In the second and fourth paragraphs she mentions that she would benefit from formal general management education, but never provides identifies the specific skills she hopes to develop vis-à-vis an MBA program. Does she hope to develop leadership skills, broaden her network, gain additional international experiences, understand country economics, learn how to analyze operations? Some specifics would be beneficial, especially as they relate to her career goal to become a portfolio manager. In a later essay Amber can then tie these specific needs to the offerings of Chicago GSB. |
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Amber would also benefit by more specifically stating why now is the perfect time for her to attend business school. |
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Amber does a nice job of discussing her career goal to become a portfolio manager. It would help her case a bit, however if she mention why this is her career goal. This would be a good way to help the admissions committee understand her motivations. |
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Overall, Amber has the basic pieces. She should spend more time discussing the specifics of why she wants an MBA, however and less time discussing her current and past roles. |
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