| Manish |
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| Below is one of Manish's essays for his University of Chicago application. We present the essay in its original form, with just cosmetic changes made to protect the author's identity. We then provide comments and suggestions, based on the advice available in Your MBA Game Plan. |
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| The question that he answers in this essay is: |
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| Why are you seeking an MBA? What are your plans and goals after you receive your degree? (500 words) |
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My main goals behind receiving an MBA at this point in my life are two-fold. I would like to further my business education, and also pursue other areas of finance. I have come to this conclusion after many years of introspection and realizations about where my career is, and where I would like it to be.
I received my degree in Business Management with a concentration of Finance at Delaware State College in the undergraduate business program, which had just formed two years before I joined. Due to the newness of the program, there were not many classes set up specifically for undergraduate business students. We were thus all placed in graduate level classes along with the MBA students in Delaware State's business school. This experience proved to be the most exciting and, at the same time, the most intimidating one in my life. While the opportunity to work with MBA students created the spark that led to my deep interest in the business world and finance specifically, I also realized how much I had to learn. It was for this reason that I decided I needed to acquire a good basis of understanding in finance once I graduated from college.
I reasoned that the best way to truly learn and understand finance was to start as an accountant and get a good grounding in the basics of the income statement and its components. This led to my first job as a Staff Accountant at Bob Chinn's, Inc., a restaurant operator in Chicago. After two solid years of accounting, I realized that I wanted to learn more about the analysis behind the statement, as well as the workings of planning and forecasting. This led me to my current job as a financial analyst at A.T. & Love Corp. I have now reached another point of awareness in my life, and I want to expand my knowledge of business in general, and finance in particular.
My first goal is to get a better grounding in Marketing, Strategy, Operations, and General Management. I feel that learning about these other areas of business will help make me a well-rounded manager, who understands completely all of the inner workings of a company. I know that receiving an MBA will help me acquire the skills to become the type of manager I desire to be.
My second reason for going to business school is to learn more about other areas of finance. I have only had experience with the accounting and analysis procedures of a business, and I would enjoy the challenge of exploring other areas of finance, such as investment banking. I intend to further pursue this interest after getting my MBA. My ultimate goal, however, is to eventually become the CFO of a large company. |
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| Comments |
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Manish does a good job of answering the question succinctly. While many applicants think nothing of going beyond word limits, Manish's whole essay comes in at under 460 words, which is terrific. Also, his writing style is clear and free of errors. |
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Manish's description of his undergraduate years helps provide some solid background, explaining the reasons for his decisions to date and how he matured academically. It also helps admissions officers see that Manish appreciates what it's like to be a part of an MBA program. |
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The only real critique that we have to offer is that Manish could be a little more explicit about his post-MBA career plans. While he states that he would like to try investment banking and ultimately become a CFO, Manish could provide a little more detail as to why this path appeals to him, and how exactly he thinks he'll get there. Since Manish is well under the word limit, he should be able to comfortably add a few sentences here. |
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Also, at the end of the previous paragraph, Manish mentions becoming the "type of manager I desire to be." This sounds interesting, but Manish provides no more details, leaving the reader wondering what Manish has in mind. This is another area where Manish could expand the essay a little, helping admissions officers understand why exactly Manish wants to study the subject areas that he mentions. |
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This is already a great essay. If Manish can just bolster the last part of his essay to provide a little more clarity about his post-MBA plans, it will be just about perfect. |
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