| Raj |
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| Below is one of Raj's essays for his Indiana University (Kelley) application. We present the essay in its original form, with just cosmetic changes made to protect the author's identity. We then provide comments and suggestions, based on the advice available in Your MBA Game Plan. |
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| The question that he answers in this essay is: |
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| Please discuss your post-MBA short- and long-term professional goals. How will your professional experience, when combined with a Kelley MBA degree, allow you to achieve these goals? (two pages) |
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“Engineers make devices, marketers make products” notes William Davidow, a high-profile venture capitalist. However, when dealing with techies, a marketer is forced to adapt the role of an engineer. Partly due to overcompensating for not having a technical degree, when marketing a product, I am known to hide behind product specifications. The concept of price, product, place, and promotion are used in the tech world, but very loosely. This sentiment is the driving force behind why I want an MBA: to become a classically trained marketer. I asked a friend what he valued most from his freshly minted MBA, entering marketing the marketing realm. He adamantly replied, “Structure.”
In the high-technology field, an MBA is not needed for career progression. On occasion, even the lack of a bachelor’s degree is accepted. In fact, I noticed that none of my supervisors are equipped with an advanced degree. But I realized, that is exactly why I need one; something is lacking. My supervisors were very qualified to go about their daily tasks, but if taken out of their zone, they did not know how to function as managers.
Ultimately, my goal is to start my own company. The idea of creating something with my own hands is my lifelong dream. There is no greater desire than to create a product, raise capital, and take a company public. This is my path, no matter how or when I get there.
While I see myself as a budding entrepreneur, a couple more years of being redeployed in the tech world after matriculation would be good to understand the dynamics of a corporation and more importantly, how the company is interweaved. Most companies fail not because of a lack of technological vision, but rather from failure to execute. Armed with an MBA, I would like to take the next step in my corporate career in the role of product management, with tasks including taking product from cradle-to-grave, managing P&L responsibility, and creating an advertising campaign.
Business schools are not created the same, in terms of content, faculty, and peers. When I took a Wharton Executive Education course, I realized the glaring difference between regional colleges and a top-caliber university. The faculty was more knowledgeable and the course content more relevant - which helped to create a fruitful ongoing dialog with my peers. The ability to discuss business matters outside the scope of the classroom is what made the experience most rewarding. Indeed a major portion of business school is the network gained, something especially relevant when engaging in any entrepreneurial venture.
What attracted me most to Kelley is that a majority of the students I met during my visit had a marketing interest in consumer-packaged goods. The focus of the program is apparent with Academies dedicated to disciplines like packaged goods and retail. Sitting in Professor Alexander’s first-year marketing class left me with the impression that marketing involves more psychology than I previously thought. Last, out of all the MBA schools I visited, Indiana University had the most friendly and caring student body, a camaraderie, resembling that of a family. Kelley also prides itself on an integrated curriculum. This fits in my future plans of running my own business. Seldom are small businesses composed of silos, as corporations do by the creation of departments. A manager’s mindset should span across multiple disciplines, as this holistic approach instills new methods of problem solving. Hailing from Silicon Valley is a double edge sword because I see much technological innovation, but limited educational perspective. Emphasis On basic, business fundamentals are lost because of the push that technical skills take precedence. For instance, many managers cannot draft a proper letter or have very poor speaking skills. I made a conscious effort not to apply to any West Coast schools, with the fear of this very limited perspective.
A few years ago, I would not have been ready for an MBA. It took me time to grasp the fundamentals building blocks of the technology industry. This oversight, by a majority of people, of not learning the industry basics led to an onslaught of failure of companies associated with the “new economy”.
Intelligent, they could translate their intelligence into tangible products, rather selling vaporware. It is now time for me to take the 40,000 foot view in my industry. |
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| Comments |
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Raj has all the content he needs for this to be a great essay. He starts off well by framing the essay with a quote that supports his desire to attend b-school. He follows that by adequately describing his future goals. Finally, he does an excellent job of describing his attraction to Kelley. Mentioning his visit makes his argument for Kelley all the more compelling. |
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The essay does, however have several weak points that should be addressed. |
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The essay does not flow very well in several places. Raj writes "a marketer is forced to adapt..." (first paragraph) rather than adopt. He writes "There is no greater desire than to create a product..." (third paragraph). And he writes "...how the company is interweaved" (fourth paragraph). These are all examples of sloppy writing and makes the essay more difficult to process. Raj should seek out a friend who is well versed in writing. |
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Also, we're not quite sure why Raj points out his technical deficiency. The essay focuses on his desire to become a marketer. Noting a lack of technical prowess without address that weakness probably isn't a smart move. We suggest that he adjust that part of the first paragraph. |
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The essay ends on a weak note. We're not quite sure what Raj is trying to communicate at the end. He should work to put together a succinct, powerful ending that relates back to his previous statements. |
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Finally, the essay is a bit long for the two-page requirement. Raj should consider trimming it down. He could start by evaluating whether the fifth paragraph adds anything to the essay other than additional length. |
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With a little bit of work this could be a very solid essay. |
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