| William |
| |
| Below is one of William's essays for his Wharton application. We present the essay in its original form, with just cosmetic changes made to protect the author's identity. We then provide comments and suggestions, based on the advice available in Your MBA Game Plan. |
| |
| The question that he answers in this essay is: |
| |
| Describe when you were a part of a team where the group process and/or intended outcome failed. What was your role, how did you contribute to the process or outcome, and what did you learn? (500 words) |
| |
Out of our team of seven people at Bank USA, the managing director heading my group was the first one to notice the mistake. But it was too late. We had already faxed a client the pages on a new equity issue, only the pages had the name of the wrong client in the corner. Not only did we make a careless mistake, but we also unwittingly let our client know that we were presenting the same idea to one of their competitors. To make matters worse, I felt responsible because I was the one who sent the fax.
The pitch was to a very important client, hence the number of people on the team. There were four people from my group, Integrated Financial Services, and three from the International Equity Group (IEG). From the beginning, we made the mistake of not making IEG feel like a part of the team. Perhaps it was because they weren’t even located in the same building we were. Instead, we included IEG solely because of their strong knowledge of equity issues, without familiarizing them with our history with the client. The head of my group didn’t even know the names of the junior IEG people who joined us on a conference call. I firmly believe that had we made IEG feel more a part of the team, they would have understood the importance of the presentation and taken more care to focus on the project and ensure the accuracy of their work.
Another reason why our team failed was poor communication within our group and with IEG. On the night the fax was sent, IEG e-mailed us the pages they put together, without explaining what they were for. I didn’t know what the pages were for, but my Vice President looked them over and told me to fax them to the client. I later found out that he requested the pages from IEG; only he didn’t clearly explain to them what the pages were for. Busy as I was, I didn’t ask him about them and instead I quickly created a cover sheet and sent them off. I should have asked my VP what the pages were for. Had I stopped to ask and realized that they were for a conference call with the client, I would have been more cautious about sending them out. With better communication between all parties, we may have avoided our mistake.
I wish I had looked past the first page and noticed the wrong client name. But I didn’t, and that was my fault. I learned that one of my roles on the team was to take one last look at what was being sent out, as it was usually the analysts who did the faxing, printing or e-mailing. I learned the hard way not to assume the accuracy of anyone else’s work.
When the head of my group turned beet red and screaming mad, my VP taught me an important lesson about accountability. Though it may have been easier to deflect some of the blame to IEG, he didn’t blame them at all. He realized that we had a role in the mistake, and he accepted responsibility. At first I thought it unfair for us to bear the brunt of our managing director’s diatribe, but my VP’s example helped me realize that accepting responsibility and learning from mistakes is far more desirable than shifting blame to others. |
| |
| Comments |
|
 |
William's choice of a failure to discuss is easy to understand and relate to. He doesn't try to do too much. Rather, he focuses on a story that everyone can understand. Most of us have probably made a mistake very similar to this at some point in our lives, which makes it very easy to relate to his story. |
|
Additionally, he does a good job of quickly setting up the problem. After just four sentences we understand what happened and who was involved. |
|
One area in which the essay could be improved is by making a little more clear how/why this was an important mistake. Naturally, sending the wrong client name is unacceptable is a huge mistake, but what was the fallout? Was the client upset? Did William's bank lose the deal because of it? Without adding much length, a few more details like this could help add a bit more depth and "make the reader care" a bit more, which is always a good thing. (If it turns out that there was no fallout with the client, then William could focus a bit more on the managing director's reaction. Did this mistake have any consequences?) |
|
A small stylistic point: William could possibly create a little drama by explicitly describing what feelings ran through his mind the moment he was confronted with the mistake. Admissions officers like to see this kind of introspection. But, William would need to make room for it in his essay. |
|
The one other thing for William to think about what main lesson he wants to communicate in this essay. He talks about three things: how his group should have gotten IEG more involved, how communication within the group was lacking, and how he learned about the value of holding oneself accountable. |
|
| • |
The first theme (about IEG) could use a little work, since right now it's not immediately clear to a reader whether getting IEG more involved would have really prevented the mistake. Would it have? Or is this a separate failing of the team? |
|
|
| • |
The second theme (communication) is a potentially good one, but again, William should think about how lack of communication directly led to the mistake. As mentioned above, would better communication really have prevented the mistake? |
| • |
The third theme (accountability) is a strong one. If William wanted to focus on just this, though, he would need to devote more words to the managing director's reaction, the consequences that William faced, etc. This may end up being the better theme to focus on, especially if William decides that the first two themes don't directly connect to the failure. But the essay would require a fairly significant re-working if William chose this route. |
|
|
Overall, we like where this essay is headed. William can make it even better by giving more thought to the causes and effects of the team's failure, and possibly by focusing on just one of them (especially if he has a hard time getting it down to 500 words). |
|
|
Print