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Steven J. Lorrence
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3242 South Lexis Ave Milwaukee, WI 53208
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H: (555)
782-4322
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Email: sjlorrence@gmail.com |
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| WORK EXPERIENCE
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| Polymer Research |
2002-Present |
| General Manager |
Milwaukee, WI |
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| Led this research-oriented polymer start-up through the product development, production design, and sales/marketing initiatives of several patented products for footwear and medical markets. |
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- Created and supervised team including professional engineers and researchers.
- Developed C-Tech patent.
- Established joint venture in Dominican Republic to integrate C-Tech into customer’s production line.
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| Multi-Sport Helmet |
2002-Present |
| Technical Director |
Milwaukee, WI |
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| Led design, testing and production of multi-sport protective helmets for this start-up. Advised President on general management and assisted with marketing and sales efforts (Position accounted for 25% of my time 2002-Present). |
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- Led design team in 15-month design-to-production cycle of first product.
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| Boston Marina |
2000-2002 |
| General Manager |
Milwaukee, WI |
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| Led management and organizational structure for newest and largest marina in Milwaukee area. Concurrently directed completion of phase one construction. Managed 500 boats . |
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- Led department managers and part time
employees.
- Maintained optimum occupancy while expanding
capacity.
- Led completion of construction
including utilities, docks, buildings, and
landscaping.
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| Boston Marina |
1998-2000 |
| Project Engineer |
Milwaukee, WI |
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| Hired and
supervised consulting engineers, architects, and
contractors for phase one design and construction of
marina on undeveloped site. Guided by concept plan and
owners, functioned as General Contractor. |
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- Directed construction of harbor, site,
buildings, docks, utilities.
- Personally designed and contracted fabrication and installation of floating breakwater.
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| Mackin Company |
1994-1997 |
| Project Leader,
R&D Technician |
Milwaukee, WI |
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| Led several R&D
projects for entrepreneur, from automotive to composite
mountain bicycle. |
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- Designed valve cover/oil baffle that went into
over 1 million Chrysler automobiles.
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| EDUCATION |
| Cowell University |
1991-1995 |
| Bachelor of Arts
in Sociology and Anthropology. |
Chicago, IL |
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- Graduated Cum Laude
- Captain of 4 intramural teams
- Trip leader for Outing Club
- Coursework outside of degree included: physics,
calculus, computer science, economics.
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COMMUNITY
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| 1998 – Present Trustee, Milwaukee Heritage Association – Downtown Milwaukee community planning and development organization. |
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PERSONAL
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| Interests: Alternative power, sailing, power boating, skiing, snow boarding, camping, reading |
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| Client Name:
Steven J. Lorrence
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Version: 1 |
| Target School: MIT – Sloan |
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Structure / Content: |
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Overall, your resume is structurally sound and the roles
you have presented align well with your desired
positioning of being seen as an innovator and as a
general manager. This should fit it in well with your
overall application game plan. You did a decent job of
showing some progression in your roles. This could be
shown further by including more quantitative measures.
Comments addressing those specifics are addressed in the
next section and highlighted in your resume. You have
selected an appropriate format, which allows you to
convey your marketing messages in an easy-to-read
manner.
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Couple small recommendations for improvement
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1) Consider going up to 12 pt. font for your titles “Work Experience”, etc. This will simply help those titles stand out a little bit more.
2) Similarly, you might want to place your company names in all capital letters
3) Finally, you should include a small space (perhaps 4 pt.) between your title / role and your overview statement. As it stands right now, your overview statement “bleeds into the location of the position, which is a bit disconcerting to the reader.”
4) Regarding your “Personal” section, I don’t think the list you have provided stands out enough. Having a “Personal” section should help show that you have a are an interesting outside of your professional life. While what you have is an interesting the presentation could be improved. I would recommend that you select two or three of those interests and be more specific about what you like. I’ve included some more specific comments on this in the resume.
5) Including selected coursework doesn’t really add much. I was intrigued that a person with sociology and anthropology degree would select an engineering path, but the courses don’t necessarily answer that question. I’m betting that there is an interesting story behind this that would serve as a great essay or would go over well during an interview. I’d recommend removing it as well as the Outing Club trip lead if more space becomes necessary.
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| Structure
/ Content Rating: 4 (out
of 5) |
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Statements: |
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The statements within the resume itself is what will require the most work. While you do a satisfactory job with the overview statements, the specific bullet points are often too generic. We often speak to our clients about employing the Situation – Actions – Results technique in writing essays. When feasible, you should emphasize your actions and the results of those actions. The overview statements that you provide often lay out the situation for the reader.
Within the attached resume, I have commented on a number
of areas where your statements can be improved by:
1) Explaining better what the situation was and
the results of your actions
2) Including more quantitative measures to provide
the reader an idea of size, scope and impact
Additionally, you should select a much broader set of action words to begin your statements. I counted that you used “Led” seven times. This makes the resume relatively mundane. I have attached a list of 100 action words and have highlighted a number of them that I thought might help you in “spicing” up your use of action words. I have also included some comments on action word usage within the resume.
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Statements Rating: 3 (out
of 5) |
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Grammar / Style: |
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Stylistically you did well. There were a couple items
that I noted and have called out directly in the resume.
You did have one small typo and you should use present
tense if you are still currently doing the activities.
These are small touch ups and you will be in great shape
after cleaning them up.
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| Grammar / Style Rating: (4 out of 5)
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| Reflection on Target School:
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| Your position should resonate well given Sloan’s emphasis on innovation. Keep in mind that Sloan is making a strong push to emphasize leadership within its curriculum. Your resume demonstrates leadership attributes and combining the two (innovation and leadership) within your application should optimize your chances of acceptance. |
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Rating Descriptions
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Category
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Rating
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Description
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Structure
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4-5 |
The resume aligns well with the
desired positioning, the format is appropriate, and order of
the roles / positions make sense. |
| 3 |
The resume does not align well
with the desired positioning or the format is inappropriate. |
| 1-2 |
The resume demonstrates poor
positioning, presents an inappropriate format and the order
of the roles / positions do not make sense.
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Statements
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4-5 |
The statements use appropriate
action words that are varied and descriptive. The statements
emphasize actions and results and utilize numbers to make
actions / results tangible. |
| 3 |
The action words used are not
varied and quantitative measures, highlighting tangible
results are lacking. |
| 1-2 |
The action words used are not
compelling and the statements do not tangibly highlight
actions / results. |
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Grammar
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4-5 |
The resume has minimal grammar
flaws, including syntax, sentence structure and use of
idioms. |
| 3 |
The resume exhibits grammar flaws that should be addressed, but do not affect “readability”. |
| 1-2 |
The resume exhibits grammar flaws that detract from the resume and do affect “readability”. |
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